My partner and I thought we were straight until we fell in love. When that gigantic neon sign of heterosexuality is flashing Boys! Boys! Boys! it’s hard to see all those girlie moments that have been quietly happening since childhood. Likewise, when you’re in a monogamous relationship with a partner of the same sex, that Gay! Gay! Gay! sign is drowning out the fact that one or both of you might just like a little sausage in your tacos. Back in the day Lesbians didn’t trust us, and I’ve had straight friends of many years tell me in words of one syllable that I’m gay (as if I were confused or something?). For years DAN SAVAGE insisted that we don’t exist.
I tried to be gay, but it just wasn’t me. Likewise, I lucked into the most wonderful partner in the whole wide world and there is NO WAY I am screwing that up! So I’m definitely not straight. Since I’m about as off the market as you can get, and demi to boot, do I still even get to keep my Bi card? Yes! But I seem to be adding an Ace to the deck too.
I’ve never felt like a girl, and while I like being mistaken for male, I’m not a boy either. You can call me sir if you must use a gendered honorific, though. The first Star Trek movie, awful though it was, was a revelation. Everybody was Mister, and Sir! Normal became accessible to all! It doesn’t have to be your cup of tea, but stepping everybody up seems to me to be less fraught than trying to get everyone to use a completely new term. Ms took years to become mainstream, and I am still having to opt into it. I might wait the rest of my life for Mx to get traction.
What’s a Druid to do? I am a person, to at last get to a term that does not define me by what is present or absent. I stand in the center of the circle of gender, as nonbinary. I apologize if it seems like I need to be the center of attention. Here I was, thinking I was part of the fringes. It’s enough to drive a Druid to their Sacred Grove–but I always walk when given the choice. I shoulda stayed there and built a treehouse for two. In the forest, nobody can hear you label yourself.
Gone to London is taking a break, mainly because I need to read Exiles of Erin, which just arrived, before I can take Roisin any farther towards her eventual meeting with Jeremy, where she joins the Escort Service and Dickens Fair.